Getting married for a lot of people is one of the most important milestones in life. It’s right up there with birth, occupational success, and the death of a loved one in terms of emotional impact. It is no surprise then that a lot of people view their marriage from a purely first-person perspective.
So, it does come as a surprise when you see yourself getting married in a dream. This is so unusual that it’s perfectly understandable if you instantly look on the Internet for the meaning of seeing your own marriage in dream images.
What Does It Mean to Dream of Your Own Wedding?
Having wedding dreams of your own marriage might seem like a dream come true.
For a lot of women, this is a good sign because they can see a lot of their wishes manifest in this event. To have a marriage dream represents the fulfillment of their wish for a joyful life.
For men, it’s a completely different type of dream. The meaning of seeing your own marriage in dream images for men indicates planning, goal accomplishment, and the achievement of success.
But there’s also a different aspect to all this. Just like with other dream images, depending on the context.
A set of dream images and symbols can be very positive; but if you just change a few details, it is no longer positive. In fact, given the right context, seeing your own marriage in your dream can be a very negative dream indeed.
You have to pay close attention to the context of the dream.
A Dream of a Wedding Represents Your Attitude About Marriage
Dreaming about your own marriage can signify your attitude towards marriage in general. You may not see it on the horizon for yourself, but if you see yourself getting married in your dream, your reaction and emotional state can be an accurate reflection of what you really think about this institution.
As society changes, people’s attitudes have changed when it comes to marriage. Back in the day, both men and women look forward to marriage because it was a very important rite of passage as one matures from a child to a teenager to an adult. In terms of social acceptance and status, it was a very important phase in one’s life.
Back in the day, people have a different impression of you if you are in your 30s and you are still unmarried. In fact, there’s a long-standing belief that used to be prevalent in the United States but still can be found in other parts of the world: If you’re a woman and you are unmarried by the age of 27, you are never going to get married.
I don’t know if it’s true, but there was a statistic that was released several years back claiming that the chances of a woman getting married past the age of 35 are worse than the chance of her suffering a car accident.
It should be obvious that there’s kind of a long-hate relationship among modern men and women when it comes to this institution. This is not surprising because, in our day and age, there’s just so many different options out there.
People don’t have to get married to have children, and people don’t have to have children once they’re married. As people’s attitudes continue to evolve, even the idea of a faithful monogamous man-woman relationship is facing some challenges.
General Dream Interpretation and Symbolism About Your Wedding
It’s important to keep in mind that there’s a difference between marriage and a wedding.
A lot of people think that they’re one and the same. After all, when you go to a wedding, the ceremony at the end formalizes the bond between the partners into a marriage that the state will recognize.
But there’s a difference between the ceremony and the legal reality of marriage. And we’re just talking about the administrative and legal side. I’m not even talking about the emotional, much less spiritual, dynamic to a marriage.
Still, too many people confuse weddings with marriage.
A Wedding Is Just a Public Ceremony but an Important One
One good way to make sense of this is to always remember that weddings are a ceremony. This is the part where you invite the public in the form of one person or one hundred people to witness your public proclamation of your bond with each other.
This is where people around you enter the intimate connection you have with the person you have chosen to become your life partner. You’re basically saying, through the wedding ceremony, that you are being bound to this person. And with it, comes a long list of demands, requirements, and obligations that everybody in that crowd agrees with and agrees to.
Just think about it. If you just wanted to tell the person that you want to be with that person for life, you could easily just have done it behind closed doors. There’s no need for a minister, much less bridesmaids, groomsmen, ring bearers, and an audience. You could have made that bond of personal lifelong commitment on a one-to-one secret basis.
The Power of a Public Commitment
Never underestimate the power of this public commitment because you are saying to everybody involved when you invite them to your wedding ceremony that you and the person you’re marrying are submitting yourselves to the rules that bind everybody else. It is a public commitment that sends many signals to the rest of the Universe.
On the one hand, you’re saying that you are part of this chain of binding and family formation that all these other people in the crowd share in common. Either they participated in it because they are married themselves or they were part of families that have begun with marriages formalized by weddings.
It’s this public commitment that gives weddings such power because you are basically reconnecting yourself with the pattern that unites your community.
But this is also what makes it so heavy. No wonder a lot of guys get cold feet when even the thought of a wedding enters their minds.
For many modern guys, the idea of a wedding makes sense for somebody else but not necessarily for them. And when you press them why they haven’t gotten married even though they’ve been in a seven- or eight-year relationship, you usually are treated to a long laundry list of believable excuses.
The most common of course is “I can’t afford it.” Another good one is “I’m still trying to grow up.” One common answer is that they’re still trying to get established.
Whatever the case may be, all of these point to preparation because they both reaffirm the importance of marriage while at the same time disqualifying themselves at least temporarily.
The implicit message comes across loud and clear. “We support marriage and we know that it’s important as an institution, but we’re not ready or prepared.”
Most people leave it there, but when you have dreams involving wedding symbology and marriages, your subconscious is trying to tell you very important lessons regarding issues of commitment and relationships.
Getting Married Is All About Formalizing Real Relationships
It’s very easy to say that once you have sex with somebody or you hang out with somebody for a long time that you have a relationship going. But a relationship can be defined in many different ways, and it has many different levels.
I know many people who have been married for a long time but are still essentially strangers to each other.
Don’t get me wrong. They enjoy each other’s company. They get along well with each other.
And from all appearances, they seem like perfect couples.
But when you ask such guys a very simple question, like “What is your wife’s or girlfriend’s favorite color?” they’re stumped.
It’s as if their relationship is made up of many little boxes with fine boundaries between them. And both have agreed to know each other only up to a certain point.
It’s easy to understand the sexual component, and that can be easily dismissed.
But what about emotional intimacy? What about trusting each other’s intuition?
This is when a lot of people get insecure, and it is in this context that your subconscious is trying to communicate to you regarding your attitude about relationships.
What Is a Relationship Really About?
A relationship is not just about spending time with one person or giving mutual and exclusive sexual permission to each other. While those boundaries are important, a relationship really is about a commitment, not just to each other but to a third party.
This is what blows a lot of people away emotionally because it seems so foreign. It seems like something that dates back to the age of your grandparents.
While a lot of modern people would find the idea of a committed relationship inspiring, they easily dismiss it as inapplicable to them because let’s face it, life is “just too complicated” nowadays.
But is it really?
You Owe Your Loyalty to the Relationship
According to this long-standing traditional view of relationships, what you have going on with your partner is worth more than you or her. In other words, its value transcends the sum of its parts.
You actually owe your loyalty not to your partner but to the relationship. It is a third party that you commit to, and the proof of your commitment is your willingness to sacrifice for it.
At this point, a lot of people get cold feet because the moment the word sacrifice is mentioned, people get scared. This is understandable.
After all, we live in the world of 15-min pizza. We live in a world where people can become millionaires overnight through crypto trading.
When you say that marriages have to require sacrifice and discomfort, people head for the exits. It seems like too much work.
But relationships work this way. They last precisely because they ask both parties to give of themselves. You’re not pledging your loyalty to the other person because that’s easy to escape.
People have a contractual mindset. Just like a contract, if you don’t do your end of the bargain, that excuses me from doing my end.
Pretty soon, none of us are doing what we’re expecting from each other and there’s really no good reason to stay in the marriage. The relationship is done and over with at that point.
Not so with people who view relationships as a third party. The promise that you make at that altar or at that civic hall or judge’s chambers where you got married is not to each other. It is to that third part called the relationship.
This is also the third party that the crowd, which represents society, has a bond with. That relationship lives up to its commitments to everybody else. It has a life of its own.
When you frame your relationship this way, it’s hard for you to escape. You’re supposed to sacrifice too. You’re supposed to commit yourself to it.
It’s hard for you to come up with an excuse that your partner was unfaithful to you so now you’re heading for the exit. It would be harder for you to say that your husband isn’t making enough money and isn’t providing the kind of life that both of you agreed to and now you want him to leave your life.
You are both held to a higher standard.
The Hardest Part About Relationships
The hardest-to-understand element of relationships is that it is many things at once. It is an arrangement. It is a bond that has its own reality.
And it’s also an idea that is best expressed as a journey.
Complicated, isn’t it?
Several things are happening at once, but the more you can wrap your head around this and the more you can commit to its many different aspects, the richer your relationship is.
At its most basic, it’s a journey. When you meet somebody and you fall in love with that person, chances are, you don’t even know 9% of what that person truly is about.
How do you know more about that person? You do that by going on a journey with that person.
Every single day you spend with that person is a step in that journey. Different situations happen and a different aspect of their personality comes out. That’s how you know them.
You can’t just read people and be satisfied that you have fully understood them. Instead, circumstances reveal them to you, and the more you read them, the more they read you. It is a mutual journey.
And unfortunately, a lot of people, as they go through this journey, want to hang on to their identity. They don’t want the journey to change them.
Instead, the relationship has to prove itself to them. In the back of their minds, they’re asking:
“Is this worth it? Is this person the right person to me?”
They don’t frame it the way it should be framed. They should be asking the following questions.
• Am I doing my end?
• Am I changing?
• Am I committing?
• Am I going far enough?
• What else can I sacrifice?
• What else can I discover, not just of the other person but of myself?
Real Relationships Are Based on Sacrifice
Let’s face one reality here. If we believe that relationships are all about completing each other or finding Ms. Perfect or Mr. Right, our relationships are all doomed.
Because that kind of thinking assumes that another person must complete us for us to feel complete. So, it shouldn’t come as a shock when people who think like this go from one partner to the next because they’re looking for that one piece.
They’re looking for that square peg to fit exactly onto that round hole.
But the reality is that you have to be fully developed already. You have to be emotionally independent and mature already. You cannot depend on another person for your own maturity.
And when you get into a relationship with that person, you have to be ready to change because you’re going on a journey of discovery with that person, and these different situations you find yourself in with that person will change you.
This is why great relationships mature like fine wine. They get better with time.
Rashly developed relationships on the other hand quickly die because you know immediately that was a bad fit. You’re not willing to sacrifice for this relationship. Instead, you focus on the person.
That’s why you find many ready excuses why this is not the right time or it’s not you.
Marriage Dream Imagery and Contextual Symbols
To dream about seeing a beautiful wedding gown can mean that you are thinking about how perfect your relationship can be.
On a superficial level, there’s nothing wrong with this. Everybody is entitled to their definition of perfection.
But you have to make sure that as you gaze at that beautiful wedding gown that you’re not just gazing based on your selfish interests. Your partner has to be there.
Both of you have to define what a perfect relationship is because ultimately it has to be unique to both of you. It cannot just be you imposing your own values on that definition.
This is a great way to push the other partner away.
Now, this doesn’t necessarily mean that they will physically leave you. They might actually end up doing something far worse. They might emotionally leave you.
Keep in mind that seeing a beautiful wedding gown can also have a negative meaning.
When you obsess on the wedding dress and you hear yourself fussing about how perfect it needs to be, this perspective represents your self-doubt. You feel unworthy and unloved by those around you. You feel like an impostor.
There’s a part of you that is saying in a loud inner voice that “I don’t deserve to be here. I’m not good enough.” This fills you with a deep and profound sense of discomfort.
What Does It Mean to Dream About a Dirty or Torn Wedding Dress?
When you see yourself wearing a torn wedding dress or your partner is wearing a torn wedding dress, either of you is under the impression that there’s something you have not been talking about or been communicating badly that can eventually put an end to your marriage.
Still, you’re both under pressure to “put a ring on it” when it comes to your relationship.
If your subconscious shows you or your partner in a dirty or torn wedding dress, this is your cue to take a break and take stock of your relationship.
Pay close attention to the definition of relationship I’ve outlined above because if things don’t line up, you might end up making a worse mistake by getting married. It’s bad enough that you’re in a relationship you’re unready for or that you cannot mature emotionally in.
Don’t make it worse by formalizing it by getting married.
What Does It Mean to Dream About Someone Else’s Wedding?
When you dream about someone else’s wedding, at the most obvious level, it means that your subconscious is picking up signals that somebody close to you is going to come across some good luck.
It doesn’t necessarily have to involve finding the right person and getting married. It can also be something like getting a new job or starting a family for newlyweds.
Whatever the case may be, there’s some new positive developments underway.
Pay close attention to the celebration and see who attends. This can indicate the closeness of those family members and how willing they are to truly communicate with each other on a deep level.
What Do Dreams About a Wedding Cake Mean?
If you find yourself dreaming of your own marriage and you focus on the wedding cake, it indicates your assumptions regarding your relationship.
If it’s stacked, sky-high, you have really high expectations so this is a good opportunity for you to take a step back and ask yourself if you really want to put yourself under that much pressure.
Remember, it’s very hard to get disappointed if you set the right expectations. Your relationship, whether it’s a married kind or the unmarried kind, must be a journey of discovery. Mind you, this is a mutual discovery.
And the problem is you’re putting a tremendous amount of pressure on your relationship by focusing on what a marriage should be, and this is symbolized by a wedding cake.
What Does It Mean to Obsess About a Wedding Ring in Your Wedding?
As you witness your wedding, pay close attention to the wedding ring. Is it still in the container being carried by the best man or the ring bearer? Or, is it already on your ring finger and you are nervously twirling it?
You have to understand that a wedding can indicate the highest hopes and the deepest anxieties and muddled trust.
It’s very important to understand that once you put on the ring, you are bound. Part of you is still unsure, and this is a good opportunity to revisit your definition of marriage.
Be clear with each other as to what exactly you’re signing up to, and if you need more time to let the journey change you. Give yourself permission to ask for more time.
What Does a Wedding Planner Mean?
What is the role a wedding planner plays when you witness your own dream marriage? When the central focus of your marriage dream is centered on the wedding planner, this indicates a tremendous amount of pressure that you’re putting on each other.
Maybe you’ve always had ideas of what the perfect wedding would be. You look at it as some sort of grandiose social event where everybody you respect or look up to shows up to show their appreciation for you.
You may see it as the culmination of all your hopes and wishes. This is all well and good on a personal level, but the problem is your partner might not see it that way.
Also, you might be doing yourself a big disservice by viewing your wedding purely in those terms. Because at the end of the day, your wedding planner coordinates everything that happens to your wedding and essentially shapes your experience.
The wedding planner is a reflection of your ego.
And if in your dream, all you focus on is on the wedding planner and how he or she calls the shots and everything comes into play, you might need to reevaluate your assumptions regarding your marriage.
Maybe you are planning the wedding based on what you want to see and what you’d like to see play out and your partner is out of the picture.
Sure, they may nod their head and they may be with you physically as you go through your consultations with the wedding planners and all other important contractors that are crucial to this event.
But they’re not there emotionally, and pretty soon, this absence will become bigger and bigger after you got married.
It turns out that their idea for the wedding is quite different from yours, but since you’re the one who desires it more, you’re the one who has the upper hand. Your partner, whether it’s your soon-to-be husband or wife, simply gives way to you.
Since this is one of the biggest events in both of your lives, it really is quite unfair, and it is a form of emotional torture to them for just one side of the equation to just dictate everything.
Similarly, if you’re the other partner and you’re relieved that your future wife or husband is taking charge, you might also want to reevaluate what you’re going through because if you get a sense of relief that somebody else is taking over, maybe you’re not taking this seriously.
Maybe your definition of a relationship is not what it should be, and you may end up in a very vulnerable position. Your relationship might begin on very shaky grounds.
Dream Example #1
I walk down the aisle, flowers, red carpet, gorgeous gown, surrounded by family and friends.
Even the weather is behaving today.
This is the day I involve the government, friends and family in my third year long relationship.
What haven’t we been through together? Lost jobs, facing traumas head on, starting our own company, a period of sickness, we have been tested by the fire, sieved by the water and here we are.
I look ahead and see him, I can see the nerves in his eyes.
He hardly lets people in, but I can read him like a book.
The event was beautiful. Am ready to start this journey with him, the husband of my youth.
There is a secret we have kept just between us.
Not even our closest friends know. We are expectant. Six weeks along.
That is why, when the toast was made, I made a mockery of sipping but really didn’t.
I didn’t want to request for non- alcoholic they might have guessed.
We want to keep it to ourselves as long as possible.
We have cancelled the overseas trip we had thought of for our honeymoon. We can travel later.
Two weeks ago we had finalized the payment for our home.
A beautiful five bedroom, stand- alone mansion.
We had a lot of fun painting the walls the different colors we wanted.
All the furniture has been moved to it.
We got a cleaning company to ensure every nook and cranny has been cleaned.
We also planted some herbs and spices on the small garden close to the kitchen. We haven’t spent a night there, we wanted to christen it as husband and wife.
In the evening, tired but happy we check in to the AirBnB we had agreed we wanted to spend our wedding night.
The next afternoon we drive to our home and the smiles on our faces cannot be smacked off.
Days fly by, my belly grows.
My friends organize a baby shower for me.
They spoil me rotten with gifts.
The one I enjoy most is the spa date.
The masseuse massages the knots from my back, shoulders and feet. The day for our baby to be born arrives.
It is painful but worth it.
A few years after that day we are blessed with twin boys and another singleton after that.
The highlight of my day is getting home from work to a full house.
We love loudly and fight quietly.
Our company grows.
We open a few branches all over the country.
Our children keep surprising us with how brilliant they are.
We intend to have them pick their own niches.
We will be here to guide them through.
All these years later, I still look forward to my man’s gentle hug in the evening
A beeping sound jolts me awake. My alarm. If I don’t wake up, I will be late to my Personal Assistant job.
My boss is a good person but he is not exactly a morning person.
Dream interpretation and symbology have fascinated me ever since I read Freud’s classic, “The Interpretation of Dreams.” Ever since, I have explored Christian, Jewish, Hindu, and Buddhist as well as Jungian psychological ideas about the meaning of dreams. Thanks for joining me in my exploration of the amazing intersection between our conscious waking world and the rich expanse of our subconscious-the home of our intuition, instincts, and hidden potential.