In the West, we value our autonomy, and it’s not a surprise that dreaming of getting married to an unknown person freaks out or disturbs a lot of people.
There’s a reason why arranged marriages are not very popular in the West. Picking the person you’re going to marry or choosing to get married at all are some of the toughest and most important decisions you would ever make in your life.
It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to understand that your choice of life partner can have a profound impact on the quality of your life as well as the direction of your life’s journey from the moment you commit to that person. If you don’t believe me, just think of people in your life — maybe these are your parents or your relatives or even close friends who are married or divorced.
Ask yourself: “If they had picked a different partner, would their lives be any different?”
Chances are if they had picked a different marriage partner, this would have had a profound impact on the outcome of their lives.
Maybe they would not be living where they are now. Maybe they won’t have the same things or they would have a different lifestyle. Perhaps they would have a totally different worldview.
This decision also can impact the number of their children or whether they would have kids at all. That’s how heavy marriage is.
Marriage Goes to the Heart of Individual Autonomy
Deciding who to marry or whether to get married at all goes to the heart of your individual power to choose. No wonder people who wake up after dreaming of getting married to an unknown person are usually concerned, to say the least.
In many cases, they’re shaken through their core. There they are — getting married for whatever reason to a person that they absolutely do not know.
Talk about lack of control! Talk about jumping into the deep, unknowable, and uncontrollable recesses of your subconscious!
Just thinking of dreaming of getting married to an unknown person, I’m sure, is enough to make that typical person off the street feel vulnerable or even paranoid, just as dreaming of getting raped or being threatened by rape cuts to the heart of your personal autonomy.
Dreaming of getting married to an unknown person that you have no choice or control over is equally disturbing.
You have to understand that regardless of how we define individual happiness, whatever that definition may be, the choice is right in the middle. It may not be the element that you personally would highlight the most or pay the most attention to, but it’s there.
Because ultimately happiness is a choice. It flows from our ability to make judgment calls in all the things that are possible in life, and the end result is purely our own.
Our lives are the products of our choices. We may not be happy with every decision we made. We may be frustrated about certain areas of our life, but by and large, we want to have the right to choose.
That’s how we know we’re living our lives. That’s how we know we have power and control over our lives.
Our Complicated Relationship with Choice
If you feel good about everything that was said so far, here comes the reality. As much as we in the West would like to celebrate our power of choice and our ability to shape our own world, march to the beat of our drummer, and all that good stuff, you know the truth.
In reality, most people are afraid of their freedom of choice. Think about it.
Of all the choices in a typical department store, most people tend to choose clothes, footwear, or whatever else that they buy within a fairly narrow range. A lot of this, of course, has to do with marketing, but this fact just reinforces the point that I’m going to make.
Most people, when given the power to choose, don’t really choose. They don’t really go up the beaten path. They don’t really celebrate whatever it is that is unique and magical about their own unique perspective.
No! Instead, we’re afraid of the freedom of our choice because it’s confusing. It takes too much of our willpower.
So, what do we do? We go with the herd. We go with the tried-and-proven.
We go with what’s hot and trendy and cool. In other words, we rarely live out the values that we prize.
As much as we place a tremendous amount of importance on our ability to choose, we rarely exercise it. You only need to look at your closet to get at what I’m talking about.
Who put that idea in your head? Who put the idea of getting those shoes in your head? Whose big idea was that clothing “hanging in your closet?”
Chances are it’s not you. It came from somewhere you could barely identify and people you definitely do not control.
Just how much choice do you really have?
But we hang on to it much like the fantasy of love. It feels good to buy into this fiction that we somehow are conscious of our power to choose and by extension the power to shape our day-to-day reality.
But in practice? We want freedom from choice.
Why Do We Desire Freedom from Choice?
On a day-to-day practical level, why do people want freedom from choice? While we make a big deal of our freedom to choose, when we look at our actual behavior, we want freedom from choice.
As much as possible, we would like things decided for us because it just takes too much time. Maybe we feel that we’d be better off doing something else with that time.
A famous example of this, of course, is Steve Jobs of Apple computers. Why do you think he always wore the same blue jeans and mock turtle neck?
It’s not because he didn’t have the money. After all, Steve Jobs died a billionaire.
Instead, he just felt that he didn’t need to use all his willpower on stuff that doesn’t really matter like what to have for lunch, what to get off the shelf, what to buy when it comes to small purchases.
You’re not much different from him. While he does have a good point, people automatically take this to the next level and end up making important choices without the proper level of analysis.
Worse yet, they live with the heavy consequences of those choices fully unaware of the fact that they should’ve sat down and put in the time, effort, and energy to make sure that their expenditure of resources, money, time, and focus is well worth it.
At the very least, there should be a decent return on investment. But instead, we make these big, heavy, life-changing decisions on autopilot.
One common example of this is the decision to buy a house.
Now, I’m not talking about deciding which specific home to buy in a given market or which market to buy. I’m just talking about buying a house in general.
So many Americans automatically believe that the American dream, which is an indication of your ability to progress through life or have something to show for your effort and development as a person, takes the form of a house.
Very few people question this. The only thing left for discussion is to ask which neighborhood, which mortgage package to go with, which real estate brokerage company to sign up with, and similar decisions.
But the general assumption is, once you finish college or graduate school and you’re either married or you’re still single but you have enough resources, you need to get a house.
This is just one of many “automatic decisions” people make.
In certain parts of the world, it goes without question that you’re going to have a child. If you get married, it’s an unstated assumption that the point of that marriage is to have children.
If you don’t have children, especially if you’re female, you walk around with this sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach that there’s something wrong with you.
This is the core of our insecurity and sense of vulnerability with the freedom to choose.
In practical terms, we do not choose. We go with the crowd. We go along to get along and follow such coping mechanisms.
This is the reality, and it’s important to understand the disconnect between what we say we believe in and what we prize as individuals and our actual lives.
Dreaming of Getting Married to an Unknown Person Doesn’t Need to Be Traumatic
Given the discussion above and the reality between what we say we believe in and how we actually live, is it really that much of a stretch to get married to an unknown person?
Is an arranged marriage or a random marriage with an unknown person or total stranger really that threatening?
After all, such automatic decisions are already happening in our lives. Maybe a dream about getting married to a totally unknown person is just another automatic decision.
Still, the fact that you’re dreaming of getting married to an unknown person triggers your mind. You wake up in an emotional state. You have certain questions that percolate through the deep portions of your subconscious.
The Good News About Getting Married to a Total Stranger in Your Dreams
The good news about getting married to an unknown person is that most of the time, these types of dreams are not prophetic. You can wipe those sweat beads off your forehead and take a deep sigh of relief.
Be that as it may, you still have a lot of thinking to do.
Your subconscious wasn’t dreaming of getting married to an unknown person for no good reason.
It’s not like you’re dreaming of shacking up legally with a complete and total stranger for no reason. Your brain didn’t just come up with these nighttime images that are in stark contrast to your waking life because it had nothing else better to do.
Instead, when you’re dreaming of getting married to an unknown person, your subconscious is telling you about certain realities in your life that involve your power of choice. A lot of this flows from the disconnect that I described above.
Getting Married Means a Lifetime or Heavy Commitment
Before we fully take apart the meaning of getting married to an unknown person or getting caught up in an arranged marriage, let’s be clear on a key dream dictionary definition of marriage.
The typical dream dictionary has many different meanings to marriage because after all, it indicates a commitment on so many different levels.
While the most important thing any human being can do is to commit to something, this is not just something that you agree to on paper. This doesn’t begin and end in terms of contract law or contractual relationships.
It’s much deeper than that, and the typical dream dictionary focuses on the commitment component of getting married.
So, when you get married in your dream, it’s not necessarily getting married to another person. It’s actually much heavier than that.
In the course of your life, there are certain things that you commit to. You may commit to doing one thing for a living instead of another.
A lot of this starts in school. What course are you going to take? What subjects are you going to major in? What is your diploma going to say?
All of these are a form of marriage. You married one path instead of another.
The Essence of Getting Married Is Exclusivity
When you’re getting married, you are telling the world that “I’m marrying this person instead of another.”
In most societies, monogamy is the standard. You can only get married to one person. But even if you live in a society where polygamy is legal, you can only marry a certain number of people and not others.
Regardless of how you cut it and define it, marriage is by definition exclusive. This goes to the heart of its importance as a symbolic vehicle in your dreams. It begs for commitment.
In other words, you can’t do several things at once. The reality is multitasking is a sham.
Sure, somebody might look like they’re doing many things at once. You might be thinking to yourself: “Wow! How can that person juggle so many balls in the air?”
Well, the truth is they’re only doing one thing at a time, but they’re doing it rapidly so their activity has the appearance of handling many things at once. In fact, if they’re quite adept at it, they might even give you the impression that they are a master of several things at once.
But don’t let your eyes fool you. You can only commit to one thing at a time, and if you don’t commit to something else, you don’t get better at that thing.
Do you see how this works?
So, marriage is all about commitment. That’s where it gets its power and meaning.
When you are married to one path, this means you have shut the door on another path.
You Marry Many Times in Your Lifetime
Did you know that you marry many times in your lifetime?
You marry one type of career over another. You choose one academic specialization over another just as you chose one school over another.
All of these require commitment. All of these require exclusivity.
Now that we’re clear, here’s where the problem lies.
· What if you’re not happy with the path that you married?
· What if after you put in the time, effort, and energy and everybody is expecting you to do well, things didn’t go as planned.
· What if your biggest hopes and dreams regarding your choice of career, business, health, lifestyle, and others didn’t pan out?
· Worse yet, what if people think you got your act together, but deep down inside, you have questions and deep doubts?
What happens then?
This is the practical reality of people who wake up after dreaming of getting married to an unknown person.
You’re Not Disturbed Because You Married the Wrong Partner, It Is the Path That You’re On
You’re worried about the path that you’re on.
Can you imagine investing dozens of years of your life in a belief that turned out to be an illusion? There’s an old song from the 1990s by Linkin Park with the title In the End.
You can feel the passion of the lead singer. As the song progress, you can sense the raw investment of emotional energy he puts into this process of becoming of achieving, and attaining.
Sound awesome, right?
Much like a dream of climbing or striving for something higher than yourself, you see the progression. You see that all the sacrifice, focus, planning, and ambition will finally pay off because you see the big picture.
This is the path that you’re on, and you’ve given up everything.
Sounds great! This is the great psychic journey that we’re all supposed to be on.
Of course, we have different paths.
But how does the song end? To paraphrase what he said that in the end, it didn’t even matter. This is the distinct realization that a lot of people get when they married the wrong path.
Maybe they picked the wrong career. Maybe this picked the wrong kind of day-to-day activities that basically fill up their life.
And now they’re on their death bed or they’re facing middle age.
The Moment of Truth When It Comes to Choosing: It Can Get Depressing
As the old saying goes, “it is always darkest before the morning comes.” The darkest part of the night is the few minutes right before dawn breaks.
And when you have been investing a tremendous amount of your time to your personal path — may it’s your relationships, maybe it’s your career, your business, the specific parenting path that you’ve taken — whatever it is, it is very easy to fall for the sunk cost fallacy.
The sunk cost fallacy plays out like this. When you start out, you have many different choices and you pick a path. It turns out that that path is wrong.
Let’s say you chose to go to Movie A instead of Movie B. So, you pick Movie A and after 10 minutes of watching the film, you know that this is going to suck.
But guess what happens next.
It’s quite strange but if you’re like most people, you don’t get up from your seat and kiss goodbye the 10 bucks or 15 bucks that you paid to watch that movie.
You stay there and you soldier on. You’re thinking to yourself: “Well, I already spent the money. I might as well get some benefit over this.”
But guess what. It doesn’t get any better.
The smart way out of that situation, of course, is to overcome the sunk cost fallacy because you get another chance. Unless you’re completely dead broke and you have absolutely no money left, you get another chance to choose Movie B or Movie C.
But Most People Stick to Their Initial Mistake
This is tragic. You don’t want to wake up at 50 years old, 60 years old, or nowadays 25 years old and realized that you’ve stuck by something you didn’t need to commit to.
Remember, every single day that passes is a day lost because you could’ve used it to embark on a new journey that goes in a new direction which can lead you to a totally different outcome.
Instead, you soldier on because you believe that you’ve already gone this far. You might as well go all the way.
But here’s the problem: You don’t know where all the way is.
If you think you’re unhappy now, do you think you’ll be happier once you reach the logical conclusion of the path you’re on? The chances of that happening are quite low, but people stick with this all the time.
I wish I could tell you that this is just an abstract philosophical issue that was first raised by Aristotle. But it isn’t. It plays out in very real terms every single day.
This applies to your marriage, your relationship, your friendships, your academic choices, your career choices, your business choices, your marketing choices, even your choice of cryptocurrencies. It applies across the board.
It is a very common “tic” of the human mind. There’s a part of us that won’t let go because we’ve gone so far just like the lead singer of Linkin Park: I got so far…but in the end, it didn’t matter.
When you’re dreaming of getting married to an unknown person, your subconscious is trying to get your attention. You made a choice that isn’t making you happy.
And if you are in any way, shape, or form honest with yourself, you know what that is. You know where that area of your life is. You know just how discontented you are.
The Barriers to Choosing Better
A lot of us are caught in a trap. It’s as if we’re walking around in mental prisons.
People can’t see physical walls. We can go from Point A to Point B. We can say whatever we want or meet with people we want to meet.
But despite the illusions of freedom and autonomy, we’re stuck.
Let me bring it home to you with this simple example. In abstract terms, you know that you can be wherever you want in the world. You know that you can do whatever you want as long as it’s legal in the jurisdiction that you want to do that thing in.
Right? I hope we’re clear on that.
But what’s stopping you from going online and buying tickets to a place that you would like to travel to?
Now, let’s just forget about quarantine restrictions for this thought exercise.
Chances are you’re not gonna do that. Chances are you’re going to do the things that you did yesterday, today, and the day after, and the day after that.
On paper and in theory, you are absolutely free but you choose to live the life of a prisoner. These are the mental walls that I’m talking about.
People can’t see the walls. They can’t touch it, but you behave like a prisoner because your choices on a day-to-day basis are predictable and restricted.
The worst part? You know it.
And that’s why the things that frustrate you in terms of what you have “married” throughout your life shake you through your core.
You’re ill at ease. You’re not fully content.
And that’s why you’re afraid of making new choices. Part of you is thinking: “I screwed up badly, but is any other choice going to lead to something better?”
1. Fear of Change
First, you have to overcome your fear of change. This is the main barrier to divorcing the mindsets and life paths that we’ve been married to for so long.
All of us are creatures of habit. We grow accustomed to doing things a certain way and, despite the fact that we know that we’re less than fully happy, we’d rather stick with the devil we know than the one we don’t.
That’s the bottom line. You can take that to the bank.
Assuming that you can hurdle your built-in fear of change, the next hurdle is pride.
You’re saying to yourself: “Well, I chose this. And if I make a different choice, what does that tell you people and most importantly myself of my ability to make decisions?”
But I have one thing to say about that.
Sticking to a mistake is not going to impress anybody. You’re not a martyr and you’re definitely not a hero sticking to a mistake that you know is wrong.
And it doesn’t make you happy.
And if you stuck with it until the end of your life, you did not somehow magically transform into this selfless hero that overcame all odds.
That’s just a fantasy in your head. Instead, you died for nothing because you know that there is a better path out there but you were so afraid of being wrong; that for the sake of ego and pride, you chose to let your dreams die.
Isn’t that tragic?
3. Fear of People Not Validating Them
The third hurdle that people face when they’re trying to switch tracks is the fear that people won’t validate them.
No person exists in a vacuum. I don’t care how independent and autonomous you imagine yourself to be.
You are always going to be trying to impress other people. At the very least, you’re trying to impress your parents or live up to their expectations or somehow live out the path that they have carved out for you.
Doing this doesn’t make you pathetic or small or weak. It makes you normal. This is how a lot of people live.
But if you truly want to switch tracks just as you want to divorce the path that you’re on so you can have a good shot at real happiness and fulfillment, you would have to go against the grain.
This is uncomfortable for a lot of people because they’re going to go against their programming. In many cases, they’re going to go against how they define success because all this validation that has fed you for all this time, shaped how you define success.
It shaped how you define a good life. It shaped your values.
Now, you’re going to go against that, and there’s this fear that you’re just going to jump into this massive featureless lake, and surface flat and still as glass, in complete and total silence, diving into the deepest unknowable parts of your consciousness.
That image is enough to freeze anybody because when given a chance to shoot at a target knowing full well that they will miss and take shots in the dark, most people would just take the long tried-and-failed path.
In their minds, they’re seeing a bull’s eye. The target is visible. But it doesn’t really matter that the moment they try because their chances of missing are quite high.
There’s something about taking wild shots in the dark that just throws them off. This is what you need to overcome.
Getting Married to an Unknown Person Means Retaking Power Over Choice
I know it sounds almost oxymoronic. How can getting married to an unknown person or a complete and total stranger be an exercise of your power to choose?
Normally, we would define such a choice as knowing a person in and out, and then when comparing that person to other options, you pick that person.
This is the very definition of power, control, and by extension responsibility.
But the reality is actually the opposite.
Because when your dream shows you that you are getting married to an unknown person, maybe in the context of an arranged marriage, or better yet a blind leap into the void, this indicates a commitment to rediscovering your power to choose. This involves a commitment to figuring out the true meanings of your values and taking responsibility for your ability to choose.
Everything is out in the open. Nothing is left in your subconscious. Nothing is left in the form of unspoken arrangements or general conventions and general knowledge.
It’s as if you are taking things one by one knowing that there’s a lot of dead space out, that there’s a lot of dead corners that you really can’t fully map out and mix and match in terms of rational interpretation.
But instead of being paralyzed by fear, this is giving yourself a sign that you are growing up.
You have reached a different level of relationship with yourself, that despite everything that could go wrong, you take these positive steps to take full control of the things that you can make sense of. In other words, you’re inserting your meaning.
Just the other world has many different meanings and a lot of the time, we are content with imagining that these meanings exist out of us and are imposed on us.
To a certain extent, that’s true, but to a large extent, that’s false.
Because things ultimately are only as real as you desire them to be. Never ever underestimate the power of your self-creation or your ability to craft your own identity based on what you choose to believe to be real.
Walk Out of Prison
What if I told you that the typical American prison has way more inmates than prison guards? Sure, the guards may be walking around with shotguns and they’re aided by close circuit TV cameras, but at the end of the day when it comes to numbers, the inmate can easily overwhelm and snuff out those guards.
But why don’t you hear about prison outbreaks every single day? Here’s the reason.
Most prisoners have resigned themselves to live in that prison. It doesn’t get any simpler than that. In other words, it’s a question of mindset.
When you are sent to prison, just as when you adopt a poverty mindset, it is a subscription to a different reality. There’s a reason why a lot of multibillionaires go through bankruptcies.
That’s right! They go broke, but they’re never poor.
How do I know this? Because they bounce back.
The typical billionaire in the United States has actually experienced more than one bankruptcy in their lifetime.
Now, this doesn’t have to be personal bankruptcy, which is Chapter 7. It could also be Chapter 13, which is restructuring.
Either way, they go broke, but they’re never poor.
And a lot of people with tons of money in the bank who are poor. How do we know?
Once the money disappears, they’re back on the streets. They’re back living on friends and family members’ couches, and otherwise scrounging for their next meal.
It’s not the amount of money in your pocket that makes you rich or poor. It’s your mindset.
The same way in the Third World, there are tricycle drivers barely getting by on a day-to-day basis, but they send their kids to college and those kids end up making a lot of money by migrating to different lands. It’s a mindset.
By the same token, there are people who have more money than those tricycle drivers, but they’re stuck. They’re forever relegated to keeping their money at a certain level.
I want you to understand the power of mentality here because it’s so tempting to think that your material conditions define you, and if somebody who has a kind enough heart would change your material conditions, then you would change.
Who you choose to be inside matters most. This is where the prison is, and just as so many inmates choose to remain in prison, so do you.
And this is what makes divorcing the path that you’re on so hard.
Maybe your subconscious is showing you a different and better path when you find yourself dreaming of getting married to an unknown person. It means a different commitment, a different mindset.
You Are What You Repeatedly Think
So, if you repeatedly think on a day-to-day basis that you’re this type of person, you will be that type of person. You committed to it by repeating it, and eventually, the things that you think about and the things that you say and do will flow from that.
And guess what happens when your behavior changes. Slowly but surely your world changes as well because, for every action, there is a reaction.
That’s how we edit our world. It all starts with our mindset.
So, if we believe that we are stuck with one type of reality, it’s going to change what we say to ourselves, what we think about, and our emotional states.
Pretty soon, it changes how we make decisions and the quality of our decisions is affected.
These don’t happen in a vacuum. Those choices end up producing realities in your life.
The absolute reality that you cannot ever run away from is the fact that your mind is the cause and your life is the effect. Take responsibility for it.
Stop burdening other people with your pathetic stories of victimhood.
Who are you fooling? Stop boring yourself with stories of how you could have done this, you should’ve done that or you would’ve done that if things had been different.
Stop waiting for a white knight to save you. This white knight can take the form of a government, a scholarship, or “the ideal job.”
Get out from under the shadows of these toxic fantasies and focus on what you can control: your power to choose.
Dream Example #1
I have dreams of meeting someone in a crowded alley. His physique is like a camera’s autofocus while the rest of the surrounding people are blurry. Everything else is just going through the motions. Well, most of my college days are like a blur to me now. I was taking up Accountancy, and I treasure the friendships I made during those years. But I dreaded my studies.
I would cry at night when I could not balance the accounting sheets. Staying up all night was like breathing to me. I am lucky if I get four hours of sleep in a day. And everything would be just a vicious cycle.
I met “him” during one of my long walks around campus. And I say long walk because it is. From the gate to the college building, it would take fifteen minutes at a regular pace. Five, if I was late for class. This time, I was not in a rush at all. Everyone was headed to their respective buildings, so I took my time and walked effortlessly.
I stopped for a bit and looked for a friend in a crowded area, and there he was – with his back towards me. I do not know him, but he was shining among everyone. I smiled upon seeing him, even though I had no idea who he was. It was like seeing someone I have loved all my life, only this time, his identity was such a mystery. But why do I have the feeling like I have known him so long, and I am already in love with him? Nevertheless, every time I have this dream, and he turns to look at me, the dream ends, and I wake up.
And then it was this dream – we were finally going to do our vows and start the rest of our lives together. It played like a montage – with snapshots as the scenes go along. My bridesmaids help me get ready; his groomsmen help him with his cuff links and his coat. None of our faces show for the big reveal. I put on my makeup, with my cream-colored dress robe still on. I put on a sheepish smile as I envision myself walking towards the man of my dreams (in this case, literally). My stomach felt rumbly – but in a good way.
I must not have eaten anything to make sure I fit into my dress. But no, it was a giddy feeling. My smile was painted on my face. I knew I could cry any time I stepped onto the carpet and started walking towards him.
I came down from the bridal car, and the coordinators helped me with my dress and made sure my veil was positioned right. The church doors were closed, to bring out some surprise on the grand reveal of the bride. I took the deepest breath I have ever done in my entire life, and the coordinators signaled to me – this is it. I stepped onto the church floor, onto the cream-colored carpet, and started my slow walk towards him.
I know I should be facing the people, but I kept my eyes glued to the floor. Was it because I did not want to trip? I must have rehearsed this a couple of times already, right? I reached the end of the carpet and saw his shoes – this is where I see his face.
But… it was the same vision when I met him. As I move my face and look up, I wake up from the dream.
I want to see you. I want to know you.
Dream Example #2
Today, I can feel mixed emotions. I am feeling happy, excited, nervous. Butterflies are all over my stomach because today is my wedding day.
Few hours left, and I will bid goodbye to singlehood.
I can’t hide the excitement. My heart is fluttering.
I was still processing the emotions that I am feeling when I heard a knock on my door. It was my best friend who congratulated me on this special day of my life. We had short chitchat, and she let me go because I need to prepare for the big day.
I don’t fancy a grand wedding. I wanted it to be intimate and simple.
I had everything planned out, and I am so excited to see if it’s what exactly I had in mind.
Our wedding is a sunset wedding by the beach. We wanted it because it is on the beach where I first bumped into this man. When I first laid my eyes on him, I noticed that he was very handsome. And the rest is history.
We personally picked the venue.
We chose to have the ceremony at 5pm when the sun is about to set. I am hoping that the sky will have a splash of colors as a way of congratulating us today.
My make-up is done an hour left before I will walk down the aisle and say I do. I also like how my make-up artist nailed the no-make-up look that I wanted. It made me look natural and fresh for my special day.
This make-up goes well with my minimalist sexy backless white dress.This is an intimate wedding.
I invited only a few people to celebrate with us in this matrimony.
Nervous as I was, I saw people from my window started to come into the venue. They were all smiles and seemed so happy.
I wanted to have this mental picture of how perfect this day is.
Then suddenly, they said that the wedding is about to start.
My heart is racing, but I am super excited to walk down the aisle and say I do to this man of my dreams.
Our favorite love song is playing in the background. This day is sweet.
Guests stood, turned their heads, and looked at me with joy as I walked down the aisle.
I saw some of my friends cry and people closest to me.
I was trying to hold back my tears, but I felt super happy.
The venue was perfect, the flowers are arranged properly.
From afar, I can’t still see my groom. Maybe because of the fact that I am so nervous for this moment.
Everybody was smiling and happy for me.
The weird thing is, I know he was standing and waiting for me. That comforted me.
As my dad was about to hand me over to the groom.
I was shocked to know that I don’t know who am I getting married to.
The weird thing is the ceremony proceeded though I keep on thinking who this man is.
Good thing I was just dreaming.
Dream Example #3
It also included a crown made from intertwining twigs and bird feathers. There was a wooden bowl on the carpet before him. I could see dollar bills ranging from the twenties, fifties, and hundreds in the bowl. He had a humble look on his face and a black beard that grew not too far away from his chin.
He was of medium build, if he stood up he would be a few inches taller than me. I turned my eyes away when he noticed me observing him. I was wearing a dress made from material like his own. I had a beaded necklace around my neck and an ankle bracelet that jingled whenever I moved. The atmosphere in the room was bright.
I could see smiles around the room. My uncle broke the silence as he stood up and crouched down in a way that men show gratitude in my tradition. He began to clap his hands, making a hollow shape before hitting them together. My other uncles and parents joined in. Before the man sitting across me on the floor stood up and picked up the bowl, and handed it to my father.
As he did that, the women began ululating and stood up to dance. Everyone was so happy; it was contagious. I felt unexplainable joy and began to smile as I watched. The humble-looking man walked towards me and took my hand. My body submitted and followed his lead. I looked at my mother, and she nodded as if to say, “go on.”
We walked out of the room using a door that led right outside, where I saw more familiar faces. My relatives embraced me as soon as I stepped out the doors, also ululating in the process. They were saying “makorokoto, makorokoto”, which means congratulations in my native language.
The excitement around me was overwhelming, so I pulled closer to the man who was still holding my hand. We finally got through the small crowd of “congratulations” and he led me to a car where he opened the front door for me. I got in without protest and watched him circle round to the driver’s seat.
He took a sigh of relief and gave me a loving smile then said,” we’re finally married.” I still remember his face like it was right in front of me, but it was a dream. Maybe he is someone I loved in my past life, so he decided to visit me in my sleep.
Dream Example #4
Luna was receiving pets from Blondie, and he grabbed Gwyn from me. So when I saw a blonde and a raven hair guy walking down the beach towards me, I started running too, holding Gwyn in my arms. When I got closed, I lept, and the one with the black hair grabbed me. I was so excited to see them; I thought they would be another week or so out of town. To have them earlier than expected made my day. The blonde one rolled his eyes, but I had no idea how he could do that and make it look lovingly. Whereas Raven, named that way in my head because of his hair, laughed at my antics.
We walked to the house while I chatted about my week. They were quiet and always paying attention. When I spoke with them, regardless of what it was or how meaningless I felt a topic was. They never changed the subject, listen attentively. And asked questions here and there once I stopped to catch my breath.
When we got home, I noticed they came here first. Luggage was still in the foyer, and there were a few bags that I didn’t remember them leaving with, but I shrugged it off. They were not the purchase-a-lot-of-unnecessary-things type of people. Leave that to me. I bought unnecessary things for myself, such as headphones with cat ears. I needed a new pair. The old one didn’t work anymore. So, they were unnecessary in price but necessary in usage.
We sat on the couch, and they regaled me with their stories. They mentioned what they ate and what they saw. Businesses made, deals closed, and how they had a meeting that was too much to stand, and they canceled. That possible deal was not necessary, they said, and grabbed a plane and came home.
Blondie mentioned, to my shock, a friend’s wedding. He attended while Raven was dealing with another meeting. He said, “Is that something you’ve ever given a thought to?” I was so confused because none of us counted years, months, or anything. So, for me, that question came out of left field. Raven said, “I know this is something of a hard thing given that we can’t marry each other. But, would you like to have a commitment ceremony? We discussed this on the way back, and it’s something that has been in our minds for a while.”
I started to cry silently and said, “I’d never thought I’d say yes to a question like that, but I’d love to if it’s with you two.” With that said, they got their phones out. Nicky, and a person, whom I knew ordained lgbtq+ weddings, entered the house. They all walked to the backyard, and I saw the most quaint setting for a wedding—intimate, warm, and ours.
After vows created on the spot, from the heart, and exchanging rings, we kissed. They then mingled with our chosen family and friends. When I saw around at the ceremony and all the people, I saw the ones I married with… I realized I still didn’t know their names or who they are. Either as people or to me.
Dream interpretation and symbology have fascinated me ever since I read Freud’s classic, “The Interpretation of Dreams.” Ever since, I have explored Christian, Jewish, Hindu, and Buddhist as well as Jungian psychological ideas about the meaning of dreams. Thanks for joining me in my exploration of the amazing intersection between our conscious waking world and the rich expanse of our subconscious-the home of our intuition, instincts, and hidden potential.