Have you ever had a dream of having a boyfriend when youre single? You don’t have anyone in your life, but there he is: prince charming but not in the flesh Instead, you meet him in your dreams.
For a lot of people who have this kind of dream, this only becomes something of concern when it happens more than once. As you probably are well aware, in the span of a typical night, you can dream many night visions. You can find yourself in all sorts of places doing all sorts of things with a wide range of people.
Most of those details are easily forgotten. But something has to happen in your dream to trigger you on an emotional, psychological, mental, or even physical level to make you remember. And I can understand that a dream of having a boyfriend when you’re single can be triggering enough.
Maybe you’re frustrated because you’ve been looking for that ideal partner, but it seems that your relationships always fail or leave you dissatisfied. In some cases, you might even have a tough time getting into a relationship in the first place.
So, what does it mean to have boyfriend dreams like this?
General Theme for Boyfriend Dreams
When you dream of being in a relationship with an interesting person but you know you’re single in real life, this indicates a deep yearning for a more substantial connection in the relationships you already have.
This doesn’t mean that you’re actively looking for a boyfriend. Instead, there’s a part of you that wants some more fulfillment in your connection to your family, your network of friends, or even your co-workers and acquaintances. There’s this unfulfilled need to be heard, understood, or even to simply be noticed and acknowledged.
A lot of people think that this is a sign of weakness. But if you were to deny this, you’re denying a big part of your humanity because all of us deserve to feel that we matter.
You and I know that in our day-to-day lives, it’s very easy to really be overlooked. In fact, for most of us, we’re just another face in the crowd. In a day, depending on your job or what school you go to, or your daily activities, you probably will come across many different people.
Guess what! Most of them you will forget. It doesn’t matter what they look like. It doesn’t matter how pleasing they may be. They’re just another passing detail in your life.
This is where your yearning or your desire to be noticed comes from. You’re not looking necessarily for a deep and abiding emotional connection. You just want to feel like you mattered.
You’re Looking Face to Face with Your Fear of Being Forgotten
One of the deepest and most profound human fears is to discover that when everything is said and done, nobody really cared about us. Now, keep in mind that I’m not talking about being abandoned or left behind or somehow betrayed. I’m talking about our total being and presence on this planet.
When everything is said and done, one of the worst realizations you can get is that you didn’t make an impact. You were born, you grew up, you got sick, you got old.
And you died.
The worst part? Nobody noticed.
This is a part of us that a lot of people try to suppress because, as I have mentioned above, too many people think that this is a sign of weakness. But the truth is that this urge for the need to feel that we mattered or made some sort of impact is our subconscious attempt to heal and love ourselves.
When we were born, we have developed self-consciousness, and when you start comparing yourself to the Universe, guess who loses out. Even if you’re the biggest narcissist on the planet, deep down inside you know that what is driving your narcissism is deep-seated insecurity.
We all fall short when we compare ourselves to what we could be and the totality of what else is out there. So, when you are trying to make sense of this deep inner reality of trying to have some sort of purpose or some impact, your subconscious is telling you that you need to heal yourself.
It All Begins with Self-Love
When you see a dream boyfriend and your dreaming mind knows full well that you are single in your waking life, you are looking at a scene where your subconscious is trying to heal you. It’s trying to project self-love in the form of a person that embodies your dreams and deepest hopes.
Because at the end of the day nobody can complete you or even value you except yourself. People can come close, people can say that you complete them, people can say that you do something for them and their lives will never be the same without you.
But deep down inside, if you’re completely honest with yourself, that is not their job. That is your responsibility to yourself. Just as you were alone when you came to this world, you will also be alone on your deathbed.
This Dream Doesn’t Necessarily Mean You Are Ready for a Boyfriend
A dream of having a boyfriend when you know you’re single is very easy to misunderstand. A lot of people think that these dream images summarize what you desire the most in your real life, that you are actively searching for a boyfriend.
But the truth is your conscious mind actually has many different layers. You may be saying out loud that you are ready for a relationship. You might even be actively looking for a boyfriend. Maybe you’ve downloaded a dating app or you’ve asked your friend to set you up with their friends. Whatever the case may be, you feel that you are open.
But Are You Really?
And when you see this dream, it might be a case of your subconscious giving you a contrarian or contrasting image of your real desires. The truth is maybe you’re looking for a boyfriend because you feel that that’s what you’re supposed to do. You look around you and all your girlfriends are settling down or have a long-term relationship, and you feel that such a relationship is yet another possession that you need in your life.
You Have to Be Clear as to What You Really Need
Do you view this as a relationship? Do you view this as some sort of social status that you need to attain because you want to fit in? Do you think that this is just a part of people’s expectations of you?
A little bit of honesty can go a long way because honesty would enable you to really connect with your needs, and by doing so, achieve a semblance of real contentment.
Always remember that life is short, and one of the worst ways to live your life is to try and live up to other people’s expectations. You have to live it for yourself.
Another Interpretation: Embodied Help
Our subconscious is so powerful that it can take many different forms. It often takes our shadows or our unspoken desires and fears. These are projected to our mind’s eye in the form of a dream.
You may be thinking that this is just some sort of personal catharsis of things you can’t quite articulate or describe in your waking life. Maybe some of that is going on, but in many cases, this type of dream can symbolize your subconscious trying to help you come to grips with your relationships with the people around you.
Sometimes, your dreams will try to assemble a lot of broken fragments of past dreams, hopes, and wishes into somebody new. This can also take the form of a childhood home or a building that triggers some and strong emotions in you.
Whatever the case may be, if you have issues with a family member, a friend, or someone close to you when it comes to issues of trust, one common symbology for that miscommunication, guilt or emotional issues is the white knight or the emotional rescuer. For a lot of people, this takes the form of a boyfriend when they know that they are single.
Generally, to dream of a boyfriend is a reflection of what emotional state you treasure the most. It’s very easy to imagine love, but as you probably already know, once you become an adult, there is often a big divide between how we imagine love and how it actually plays out in real life.
Sadly, so many people focus on the idealization or romanticization of love that when the real thing shows up, unkempt, uncouth, messy, and in many cases “stinky,” they couldn’t recognize it.
Your subconscious is not playing tricks on you. Instead, it’s trying to send you signals to the best of its ability to try to wake you up to any possible disconnect between what you say you desire and what that embodied desire can actually look like in real life. In many cases, they’re unrecognizable.
If you’re a single woman, this type of dream can indicate that there may be a lover for you in the future. But for that to happen you also have to mature a little bit, not so much in terms of coming up with some sort of Hollywood-like, life-changing revelation. Instead, it can be as simple as allowing yourself to take a risk emotionally with people. It can be as basic as giving yourself permission to be emotionally open to people.
You have to understand that when you’re open, you’re often left vulnerable. It’s very easy to get hurt when you’re open and you don’t have your guard up. But that’s the only way we can let love into our lives.
It’s a double-edged sword. It requires quite a bit of maturity to desire love and affection despite the very real threat of loss, betrayal and hurt.
Other Common Boyfriend Dreams You Might Encounter and What They Suggest
Besides the common boyfriend dream motifs outlined above, dreams involving boyfriends can take many different forms, which leads to different contexts. Here is just a quick overview of the five most common variations of this dream theme.
1. A Dream of You and Your Significant Other Having a Fight
To dream of you and your significant other having a fight may reflect your feelings in your current situation.
There are many different types of fights. Some fights have a lot of heat and angry emotions, but these are actually quite healthy. Because when you let it all out, you’re being completely honest with that person. In the hopes that they will understand you, you let go of the fear of hurting them and they do the same.
As long as you are operating with goodwill and you are letting your emotions out honestly without trying to score cheap points, this can lead to something positive because oftentimes conflicts and pain give way to new births. Just as it hurts for a woman to give birth, your relationship has to go through growing pains to reach the next level.
But the one factor that determines whether it gets there or it breaks apart is honesty. The key here is to be able to articulate clearly what you feel, how you see your relationship, and how you think.
And once you can do that, your partner (if they truly love you or understand you) will respect you more.
2. A Dream of a Boyfriend You’ve Never Seen in Real Life
To dream of a boyfriend who you have never seen in your waking life is a representation of changing goals.
When the main motif of your dream involves talking to a boyfriend that is always “off-camera,” this can indicate a dialogue with a deep, yet hidden part of yourself that you can barely articulate or describe. Believe it or not, this conversation has less to do with romantic and emotional issues and more to do with what your goals in life are because when you frame your shadow as your lover or a boyfriend, you are essentially talking to your inner self.
And oftentimes the reason why we feel let down or we feel like such losers and failures is because there’s no clear communication between our waking mind and our conscious goals and subconscious energies that can lead us to those goals. There’s some sort of disconnect.
It’s hard for you to say: “I’m tired and I’m scared. I need your help.” Instead, you just say: “Well, I can do it.” Or, “This is where I am going.” It’s as if you refuse to trust yourself at a deep level, a point where you let yourself go and truly say what’s on your mind.
You have to understand that it’s very easy to set up a conflict between your conscious and subconscious mind to the point that your subconscious undermines you. Your conscious, waking self can also sabotage your subconscious mind. It can get messy really easily.
So, take a look at this boyfriend motif, and if you see that you’re talking to some stranger whose face is never revealed, open yourself to the possibility that you’re actually talking to yourself. Start thinking about any kind of disconnect between your waking life and your goals and hopes and dreams at that level and your deeper reality
3. A Dream of Your Partner Dying
To dream of your partner dying indicates frustration with romance, and one of the best ideas to live for is the hope of romance.
Let’s face it. We live in a broken world.
It’s very easy to be disappointed and to have your heart broken, not just by other people but by yourself. You know that you’re capable of so much more but here you are bargaining with yourself so you can let yourself down again.
When you see a boyfriend or a partner die, it means that this sense of romance in your real life is going away. Don’t let it pass without a fight because oftentimes the hope of romance is all you need to make sense of this messy inner dialogue that you may have between what you’re really doing and your inner desires.
By aligning them through some sort of clear, honest communication with yourself, you may end up on a path to truly realizing your potential and pursuing your dreams.
4. A Dream of Intimacy with Your Boyfriend
To dream of intimacy with your boyfriend shows your desire for inner connection.
When you see yourself having sex with your lover in your dream and you know full well that you’re single, it indicates that you’re looking for some sense of unity between your conscious self and your hidden self. This can be your fears, desires, frustrations. Whatever form it may take, you’re just looking for some sort of alignment.
Since sex is one of the most powerful biological, emotional, and psychological symbols for unity and catharsis, when you see sex in your dream with a boyfriend that you don’t have, sit up and pay attention. Your subconscious is telling you that it wants a clearer connection between who you think you are and who you really are behind closed doors.
5. A Dream of Cheating on Your Partner
To dream of cheating on your partner can indicate a surge in your impulsive drives. When you see yourself having sex behind the back of your boyfriend in your dream, this indicates that you have been giving in to your impulses for far too long.
Maybe you have a tough time showing up to work on time. Maybe you have serious issues with turning in work by the deadline.
In many cases, this type of dream isn’t really sexual in nature. Instead, it speaks to the lack of “sex” or union with your professed allegiances.
For example, if you apply for a job, you are committing to that job. In a sense, you’re expected to be faithful by giving your best. A lousy performance betrays a “lack of faithfulness.”
Similarly, if you’re in school, you’re supposed to study. You’re supposed to get certain things done.
And your lack of performance means that your commitment has broken down. I could go on and on with the examples, but I think you get the point.
When you dream of cheating, this indicates that there’s a breakdown in your commitments. Far from some sort of judgment or condemnation that you’re a horrible person or some sort of loser, it’s a message from your subconscious to recommit.
Nobody forced you to be in that situation. You know what’s expected of you. So, stop giving in to your impulsive side.
While it’s true that hard work pays off big time in the future and laziness pays off immediately, you have to revisit what you committed in the first place. And once that is clear in your mind, maybe you’ll find the motivation you need to keep pushing forward.
How About Dreaming of an Ex-boyfriend?
Instead of dreaming of a boyfriend that you don’t have, what if the dream imagery turns on somebody with who you had been romantically involved? These dreams usually reflect your frustrations about the past relationship.
Maybe you wanted to save it. Maybe you had certain things that you wanted to say to that person. Whatever the case may be, your subconscious mind is trying to tell you that you have unresolved issues from your past relationship.
Your regrets are not free-floating emotional anxieties. They can be traced to the things that you did or consciously chose not to do. You may have just brushed everything under the rug, so to speak.
But your subconscious mind is always aware and oftentimes if you start seeing this type of theme play out in your dreams, your subconscious is telling you that it’s causing issues.
Maybe it’s taking up a lot of your emotional or subconscious or psychic energy. Whatever the case may be, these unresolved feelings will keep bubbling.
And you’d be surprised as to what kind of distortion they would cause in other areas of your life.
The Worst Thing That You Can Do
When you dream of an ex-boyfriend, the worst thing that you can do is to yearn for him to come back, that things will be different this time.
If you let yourself surrender to this yearning, it shows that you haven’t really grown or matured from what truly happened because ultimately, you’re not looking to reconnect with that person. You’re not looking for that connection because that person is dead. Instead, the person that they are now is different from who they were in the past.
But you wouldn’t let that die just as you wouldn’t let that part of you that fell in love or emotionally get connected to move on. 9 times out of 10, you are trying to reconnect with a ghost.
And guess what!
You’re setting yourself up for a letdown. Does this mean that people from your past have absolutely no place in your emotional future?
Of course not!
But you have to be mature about it. You have to open your eyes. You can’t use them as some sort of emotional escape because at the end of the day the only person you will be letter down is you.
Dream Example #1
“How’s your day, babe?”
Hold on one second. I forgot I needed to breathe in and out.
Did someone call me babe?
I looked back and saw this gentleman in my kitchen. Did this broad-shouldered lad ask me how my day was? It was rather uneventful.
I spent my day in front of my computer, nothing special. Typing away and analyzing the numbers on my screen. Reading and replying to all emails before I can even finish my first cup of coffee. Looking at my calendar and planning my next vacation.
Oh! Did I mention that on my way home, I passed by a litter of cute, adorable puppies that I cannot get enough of? That I am planning to adopt one? Or two?
“Babe? What do you want for dinner?”
My usual is “whatever-I-can-find-in-the-fridge-and-throw-in-the-microwave”. Tonight, this chiseled-face man is asking me what I want to eat.
I fancy myself a steak. Also, pop a bottle of red, please? If you must ask for dessert, I love some salted caramel ice cream. You must ask me what I want for dessert, okay?
“Babe, let me take care of the dishes. I know you’re tired.”
This might be the most exhilarating part! This tall, apron-wearing guy is washing the dishes. How can I get happier right now? I am fed and rested. Any grown woman will feel like a queen in my current state.
“Ready for my surprise? Here’s your pint. It’s your favorite, salted caramel.”
Wait, what?! I was not even asked! Not that I am complaining, though. I had the urge to hug this person whose face shows an after 5 o’clock shadow. I did that.
The next words flowed out of my mouth as if they had a mind of their own.
After you’re done with the dishes, can you sit down with me, please? Put your arms around me, okay? Tell me how was your day, too. I love to know.
Did you kill that presentation you were preparing for? Give me your hands, let me massage them. Was the traffic bad today? Tell me what do you want for dinner tomorrow.
I’ll get the groceries and cook what you want. But for dessert, I’ll get what I want. Yes, babe?
This sure feels nice, I said to myself. When was the last time I felt like this? I can’t remember. Who was the last person to prepare dinner for me? I definitely cannot remember.
Even so, I don’t bother remembering the past. What’s important is now, here beside this astonishing fellow I can’t seem to get enough of.
He chuckled with his boyish charm and reached out to my hand. He brought it closer to his lips and showered it with light, feathery kisses. He brought me closer and wrapped his arms around me. He raised my face and kissed the corner of my mouth.
I jumped out of the bed as if it became a pool of molten lava.
I am running late for work. Again.
Dream Example #2
It was 1:00 in the afternoon when I fell asleep in my room.
I dreamed of finally being in a relationship with the man I love. We were having our lunch together when he grabbed my hands and said he loves me.
He was the man of my dream. He is kind and responsible. Those are some qualities why I fell in love with him. He was my colleague at work, and we do projects together. We saw each other every day.
Girls also want him that they even show interest in approaching him first. I was lucky because he chose me to be his girlfriend. After holding my hands, he said he will love me and will do anything for me.
He will not hurt me and do whatever it takes to win my love. I got nervous because I have never been in a relationship before.
But the thought of having one makes me tremble, especially when that someone is the one who makes your world go around. I said yes to him because the feeling is mutual. I want to be his girlfriend and his wife. We will live together.
Though it was a dream, the experience of having someone with me seems so genuine. I do not want to end this dream. I have never felt this kind of feeling before.
We were so happy together, and I can see to him, the same happiness. We are holding hands while walking home and enjoying every moment of being in each other.
With our friends go out of town to relax and enjoy the weekend after tedious work in the office. But there is a problem because my parents do not like him. They said that he would only hurt me, and they will choose the man I will marry.
Upon hearing it, immediately object to what they want. I cannot with the man whom I have not seen to be my boyfriend. We are happy, and we will fight our relationship until the end.
I know my boyfriend will do the same. He said he loves me and will do everything he could to prove his love for me. It is the right time to fight for our love. I never saw this one coming. I thought my parents are supportive of my decisions in life.
But I was wrong. I understand that my parents are only concern about my welfare, and my parents do not want me to get hurt. But I am matured enough to know what is right and wrong. I know my limits, and I know when to stop.
I know that my boyfriend will fight with me until the end, and I can see it in his eyes. It was one of the dreams that I do not want to end. I can’t explain the feeling. All I know is, that I am happy every time I see him, and I don’t want to lose him. It was a dream but I want to be with him in reality.
Dream Example #3
The sea was jewel blue and the sky was like a curtain of silk. The white clouds were a tuft of snow. The waves sang the sea song and clumps of seaweed got washed up the clouds. The air was filled with the salty smell of water.
Instantly, I felt the temperature rising and my skin turning red. My cheeks were blushing red when I felt a strong muscle wrapped around my shoulders. It was my boyfriend. His strong and warm hands made me shivered and my skin trembled under his arms.
When I lifted my eyes I saw his perfectly contoured jawline and brown eyes with dusty brown curly hair.
When he smiled his dimples showed and his juicy lips hovered to reveal his white teeth. He had dreamy eyes and a perfect figure. Wondering about how grateful I am to have him, all of a sudden, I thought of the time when we met.
It was our first anniversary today and the entire journey had been wonderful. Never knew that having a boyfriend was such an advantage.
It was he whom I looked forward to during all time. It was he who backed me up even if I was wrong. It was he who made me laugh the most and it was he I was worried about the most.
I fell and had my lowest points during this whole year I knew I had someone who would pick me up and be there no matter what.
Having a boyfriend feels as if everything is complete. There is nothing in the world that I need any more if I have him. He takes care of me when he even doesn’t have to.
He knows exactly how to make me laugh. He knows when I need a hug and his assurance. He enjoys being with me when I need a friend. He takes care of me like my parents and he loves me like nobody else ever had.
When I fought my family and had no one, I had his shoulders to cry on. He kisses my forehead every day before going to bed and makes me realize that he loves me so much.
He takes care of me when I am sick, he washes after me, and also makes me food when I am not in a mood.
He’s the one who loves passing metal and despises popular music. Yet, he put set aside all that and made efforts to learn a few of my favorite songs so he could play them to me on his guitar. He is perfect.
I looked him in his eyes and realized with how much love he looks at me and adores me. He leaned forward to kiss me on my lips, my lips were about to meet his but all of a sudden I was brought back into my sense.
My phone rang waking me up from this dream. I realized that I slept on my table while reading a romantic novel by Colleen Hoover. I smiled sheepishly.
Dream Example #4
Jason McDonald is the hottest guy I have ever seen! I mean, look at that body. Perfect toned muscles, perfect skin tone, perfect eyes, perfect jawline, perfect everything! He’s perfect.
We’ve been dating for… How long have we been dating again? I should remember this bit of information because I’m his girlfriend but I don’t. I don’t even think I remember my name at this point.
Those perfect hazel eyes are staring at me as he approaches me, and I am rooted to the spot where I stand. I am drooling. I kid you not.
“You look hot,” he says as a form of greeting with a wink and a smirk that promises some steamy action later.
“Not as hot as you, babe. Someone, please call 911”, I tease. He blushes. Yeah, I make him do that. I feel so smug right now, I think he’s dying of embarrassment.
“I’ll do something about that sweet little mouth of yours later,” he says, a wicked glint in his eyes. It sends chills down my spine. So damn sexy…
He pulls me in for a hug and I gladly bask in the euphoria of his touch. He smells good. All the time.
“I love you…” he mutters into my hair, then kisses my head.
“I love you,” I say, squeezing him tight. He exhales and we let go of each other. I notice some envious stares from the seniors who caught a bit of our private moment.
What did he ever see in that “junior”? She should focus more on her books! Nerd! He’s a senior, for God’s sake!
They always talk. I had to learn how to tune all their banter out. But I won’t deny there were times, like now, when I wonder what it is he saw in me in the first place.
He’s from a rich family. The only child. The captain of the school’s basketball team. Every girl’s dream. Look at me; a nobody. What they call a nerd. I can’t even keep my glasses in place without them sliding down.
I end up looking stupid every time I try to put it back up. No one even noticed all this, no one knew I existed until I became Jason’s girlfriend.
Then I began to wish they’d stop noticing me. Now I have to be conscious of how I dress, walk, talk, eat at the cafeteria, which by the way, shouldn’t be anyone’s business!
“Back to Earth, Stephanie,” Jason says, waving a hand at my face.
“Sorry… I was thinking about something.” I say. He gives me that understanding smile that warms my heart.
I spot my all-time rival, Sophia Daniels. The hateful expression on her face is enough to make me cower in fear but I don’t.
I take Jason’s face in my hands, knowing she’s watching. Moving ever so slowly, I give him a kiss I know will leave her in tears. That’s right. I’m the one with the guy. Not she, not anyone else. Me! I’m-
I wake up to my little sister, Carol yelling my name. Right, I was only daydreaming, as always. Mr. Perfect may never be mine. I’m stuck in this single life.
Dream interpretation and symbology have fascinated me ever since I read Freud’s classic, “The Interpretation of Dreams.” Ever since, I have explored Christian, Jewish, Hindu, and Buddhist as well as Jungian psychological ideas about the meaning of dreams. Thanks for joining me in my exploration of the amazing intersection between our conscious waking world and the rich expanse of our subconscious-the home of our intuition, instincts, and hidden potential.